Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize