I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
