he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
