Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
