You really coming over, don't trick.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
