Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
