WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
