Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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