This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
