i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
