I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
