I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
