wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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