Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
