he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
