I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
