So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize