Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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