dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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