What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
