this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
