you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize