He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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