Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
