worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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