I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
