I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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