The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
