I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
