I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
