if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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