I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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