Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to cum in my sink.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
