And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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