Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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