This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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