i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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