So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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