yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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