ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
