5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
farters have to be the big spoon...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
