i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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