Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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