I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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