Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
