six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
