His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
