Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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