Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
