i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
