Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize