We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
