You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
