Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How naked do you want me to be?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
