i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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