let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
