totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
