So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
