i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
