jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
