Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
