i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
