We named our party play list daddy issues
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
