Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize