Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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