its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
