You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
