guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
