Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
