I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She announced her abortion via fbk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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