i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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